Christmas
It was a week before Christmas, and all the decorations were lovingly placed around the house. The tree was richly adorned with lights, sparkling balls, and tinsel. ... All was perfect.
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REASONS FOR GOING TO SCHOOL
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
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Roll, roll, tap, tap, tap
One night around three o'clock in the morning, I woke up to a strange noise.
Roll, roll, tap, tap ...that's how it sounded, and so on, and so on ...
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Three mice
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty sitting neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
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Air India !!!
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down.
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FBI
The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME; the author who introduces the story swears it's true.
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E-Mail
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter.
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Astute Visionaries?
Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
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Appreciate what you have
One day . . . a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country
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A Cat's Diary
Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal.
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A Case for More Beer
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
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A bug
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there.
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Keep On Singing
Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They find out that the new baby is going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings to his sister in Mommy's tummy.
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Stolen Car
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their
car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full
report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see
if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime.
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I LOVE U
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER Believe me it is true...
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WOMEN NEVER LISTEN
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
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3 PATIENTS
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
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A group of psychiatrists
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention.
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A man is strolling past
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
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DOCTOR ADVICE
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed.
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BLONDE
A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly.
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Now Let Me Get This Straight
Let's see if I understand how America works lately...
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The Story of Two Cows
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
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